COMMON YET NOT SO COMMON!!

Walking down the road, I saw a Mercedes pass by in which a businessman, sitting in heated comfort in the bitter cold was busy working on his palm top… Just then my attention got diverted to this old, haggard man drawing his food hawker… Something that has always perplexed me is how in one society where there is supposed to be unity n diversity, there are absolutely contrasting lifestyles, needs and values and people are oblivious to others’ ways…. So what unity in diversity do we talk about?!! People hardly care how the other sections of the society are living. Yes, there are a few groups who have taken up the social challenge of creating awareness about the various sections but these groups are a minority…

I would like to contrast between two types of people, both of whose presence is very predominant. First of all lets take the likes of the businessman. Highly successful, either a self starter or runs the legacy of his family business, lives in palatial houses in posh colonies, a few luxurious cars, children going to the best private school, wife rolling in diamonds and gold, state of the art gadgets and gizmos and all that one would want to lead a grandiose and extravagant life… But if one would go below the surface and all the materialistic superficialities, unearthed would be a constant feeling of emptiness and vacuum.. Even though that man and his family would lead such a life, its not certain that they would feel and kindle a euphoric happiness and feel emotionally complete and satisfied. Because of having so much material pleasure, they forget to enjoy just the simplest moments in life, always in search of something ‘greater’ and ‘grander’, which at times, I feel doesn’t exist and its just the overworked mind running ‘wild’!!!

On the other hand, a middle class common man, simple means of livelihood, either working under someone or owning a small shop, hawker, or road side vendor.. The old man I mentioned above, fits this category best. I really did want to go into the depth of their ways of livelihood and their lifestyle.. so I did! Baijnath Bangali, a 65yr old man, has a hawker right outside Palika Bazaar in Conaught Place and has been selling some simple, common man dishes for the past 36yrs. Now he sells chole kulche and he takes pride in the fact that he has satiated several appetites.. He lives in Paharganj with his wife, 5 daughters and 1 son. I was really amazed to see glee and pride on his face when he told me that he had 5 daughters. Opposite to the common perception, this man seemed really delighted with the fact that he had 5 daughters and he even sends them to school. On being asked the essential question if he was happy with the kind of money he earns and the job he does, he frankly replied “Ji dekhiye, humne zindagi guzardi logon ka pet bharne mein aur jo bhi kaam kiya who sachhai se kiya, toh dil mein koi gunjaish nahi baki hai. Yahaan sab mujhe jaante hain aur baba kehke bulaate hain. Sabse mujhe kafi pyaar mila hai”(yahaan referring to the road he has his stall, where there are several other vendors) . This showed how important it was for the common man to earn his livelihood in a fair and honest way and nothing else mattered more. His conscience was clear and that itself gave him immense satisfaction and a reason to be content with life, not bothered by the fact that he was just a roadside vendor. He had friends who admired him for his exemplary character and respected him.
This is exactly what I am talking about… He got simple pleasures from having 5 wonderfully caring daughters, he working with utmost self integrity, earning money he hard way, enjoying everlasting moments with friends and family!! Then it struck me, let me at least know how well he does economically i.e. how much he earns and his standard of living. With a satisfied look on his face he told me that he earned a profit of either Rs.100per day or a max of Rs. 200 on a very busy day; lived in a 2 room house which barely had the basic necessities of water and electricity. Oh my god! This man and his family don’t relly want any materialistic gains other than safe water and electricity!! Some simple living!! But its this that helps them stay grounded, true to life and really understand the essential purpose and meaning of life. Might sound a little too philosophical, but then that’s the truth. This man saved penny by penny to send his children to school and is ecstatic about the fact that 2 of his daughters are now working and stand on their own two feet. Imagine a rich father being soo passionate about sending his children to school, sounds funny!! Sending children to school is just taken for granted! He won’t waste even a second pondering over how much joy he gets by sending his children to school.

If one is just so engrossed in the acquisitive pursuits, then its life that we lose out on, we loose out on the great moments that define our life.
Here I may quote Hans Hofmann :
The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak……..
Wake up!!.. you, me , we al l need to learn from these people.. They seem so common, but their thoughts aren’t. They need to be appreciated and along with that follow their foot steps, understanding what LIFE IS REALLY ALL ABOUT!!

In-no-sense (Innocence) - Today's Child

Aghast after reading and hearing about the student murders taking place all over India, I decided to understand in depth about what is going wrong with the children of today... It all started with reports coming in of a student in class 8 being shot by two of his classmates via an automatic gun in a Gurgaon School. Then came reports of such happenings in an Engineering Institute in Noida and the third one from Satna, Madhya Pradesh. The MP incident involved a 15yr old boy who used his landlord father's 'Katta' to murder his junior. Up til now such gruesome acts were reported only in the US, made possible by the prevailing 'gun culture', whereby students could buy arms with ease and it was quite common for everyone to own a gun. But now its increasingly becoming a Global phenomenon.....





Reflecting on what has been happening I realized that some children have somewhere lost the sensibility and the conscience of the limit and boundary that must not be crossed, be it to take revenge or just to as a dare!! The preposterous reason that the accused gave for the killing in the gurgaon case was that the victim had been bullying him for a long time and so he wanted to take revenge.





I have completed my schooling just a year ago, and soo am quite aware of the ongoing state of affairs in schools. Coming from a reputed private school in Delhi, I too have personally witnessed cases of violence and fights between students, reasons ranging from petty issues like girlfriends, bullying or just irreconcilable differences. In the fast paced and competitive lives where every student is fighting for the top spot, at times there is disregard for the other persons feelings. This can be seen right at the school level where I myself have seen great friendships break due to competitiveness. Some children do not seem to value precious lives that God has bestowed upon them and think its a joke to take away a life.... But i would like to go into the psyche of the children and understand how in their conscience, they justify the gross and grim act... The justification given by the student of the gurgaon killing was that it was a revenge for the perpetual bullying by his classmate... What harm does bullying do?? A child who is bullied for a long time and is traumatized may have psychological effects.. Bullying may victimize the students and effect their capabilities to concentrate on studies and acquire knowledge... soo when a kid is made to feel inferior there is all this pent up emotions which are bottled up inside him/her and due to being either afraid or physically weaker and not able to reply back on the spot and so have to swallow all the insult.... If there is continued emotional upheaval of such kind anybody would be devastated leave alone a 12yr old kid... But this does not warrant such a disgusting fightback!!



What is needed to keep in check such distress?? Here is where proper parenting and the role of a good school comes in.. First of all, Parents need to provide their child with a stable and harmonious home with unconditional love and 'Quality Time'. If there are any apparent changes like loss of appetite, depression, nervousness, lack of concentration, etc, the parent should try and go to the depth of the matter... There should be open lines communication between the child and the parents and the they should have such a relationship that the child is comfortable telling all that is happening.. Most of the times what happens is that parents cannot comprehend whats wrong with their child and think that by giving things time the matter will be resolved... But no, the solution is sitting with the child and having a heart to heart discussion as to whats wrong and by offering any help that could solve the problem... Parents talking to the classmates might not always be the best option as it could cause repercussions later... There can be an exactly opposite case where the parents are too concerned and anxious and so need to give the child his/her own space. Another solution is that the school should take responsibility of ensuring congeniality amongst all students and if any cases of fights or disagreements are reported then the school's counsellor should try and resolve the matter with the students... So a psychological counsellor in a school is a must!!!



The cause of such behaviour by the child should be understood.. Many child psychologists have researched in the field of child crime and the glaring fact is that disturbing family relations like differences between parents, with siblings or any kind of unstable environment at home is a major cause of such actions. So, a happy and progressive home leads to a mentally healthy child. Such unresolved psychological complications can result in an unhappy and traumatized adulthood too.. The reason behind the drastic rise in Child Crime can be the increasing amount of violence and brutality being depicted on TV and in Cinema.. Here is where the MEDIA comes into picture!! Young children are being exposed to programmes like CID, CSI and movies like Saw, Hostel, Fight for your life, Island of Death, Mark of the Devil!!! Many studies have shown that movies and TV are considered to have a great impact on a young child's mind... see the names, they itself are soo outrageous, what do you expect the children to learn and do!! The latest craze is of Video Games and Play Stations where kids are constantly fighting the cops, killing opponents, etc.... Such violent activities are bound to have several backlashes.... So parents need to be careful regarding what their kids are viewing and doing with their valuable time...



I can conclude by proposing what actually my teacher said, that being a Parent should not be a right but it needs to be considered a privilege. Parenting is the most toughest and challenging job and every aspect of it can either make or ruin a life!! So to avoid Child Crime what is utmost important is Counselling for parents at all stages of raising kids..!!! Ultimately it all boils down to how to raise a child!!

~ ~ ~Overcoming Hesitations~ ~ ~

Writing has always been something I always shunned from... Now finally grappling with that hesitation, I have decided to take it up as a challenge to fight this wierd, abstract and dreamed up notion that I cannot write well.. And it has all been possible because my teacher in college told all students to make a blog of their own and post 5 articles a week!!! Seems a humoungous task but it will help shed this inhibition like all others tooo!!!

If I try and remember what my writings have been, they would just be restricted to cards,testimonials for people and essays in exams... Where as most of my classmates have a flair for writing awesome poems and articles regarding current issues or just imaginary characters.....

But then I realize that everyone has their own forte and I have mine. So i need not be a jack of all raits and a master of none... But then the joy that one gets by conquering all that there seems to life is boundless....

Soo to kindle that immense joy here comes my first blog!!!

HaPpY WrItInG to MySeLf!!!!! lol